I held his paw and slept by his side for 14 days in hospital. But it turned out, all the love in the world wasn’t enough to save him. Thus begins the final post on Life of Dozer.
My dearest Dozer,
You came into my life in my arms, holding you protectively. And after almost 14 years together, I held you in my arms protectively again as I said goodbye.
I was sobbing so hard, I forgot everything I wanted to say to you in our final moments together.
So I started writing this letter to you, to say all those things.
I wanted to reminisce about our wonderful times – the thousands of visits to the dog beach, all the wonderful food we sampled together, the cuddles, the neck-scratching-sessions, our road trips.
I wanted to thank you for spreading the joy that is you with readers all around the world, for happily coming along with me to meet readers at events, book signings, fund raisers, lunches, dinners, not to mention TV shows, photo shoots, and my gosh, we can’t forget our stint on Play School!
But as I sit here, typing away with tears streaming down my face, I realise that’s not what I want to say to you.
What I want to say is thank you.
Thank you for giving me your whole heart.
Thank you for giving me your unconditional loyalty.
Thank you for loving me just as I am, for all my flaws, for never caring what I weigh, what I wear, what I look like.
Thank you for always being there, my one constant through the good and bad times.
Thank you for making me smile, even on the hardest of days.
And thank you for trying so hard to stay with me as long as you could, fighting to heal until your very last day. I will never forget how deep you had to dig to find the strength for your rehab walk on our final morning together.
I know that one day, I will be able to look at photos of you again without sobbing. And I know all this pain I am feeling is because I loved you so fiercely and completely, and I wouldn’t trade it for a second I got to spend with you.
But right now, four days after saying goodbye, it feels like the heartbreak will never heal, like I will never smile again.
Rest in peace, my darling Dozer. I will never forget you, and I will never stop loving you.
Love,
Your mum xoxo
Thank you SASH
To the vets and nurses at the Small Animal Specialist Hospital (SASH),
Thank you for the extraordinary care, skill, and kindness you showed Dozer. Every moment, from the medical expertise to the gentle reassurance and cheering him on, meant more to me than I can say. Knowing he was in such capable, compassionate hands gave me comfort during the hardest days. I will always be deeply grateful for everything you did for my beautiful boy. – Nagi x
Sending you tons of hugs, Nagi. This letter of yours brought me to tears. I know that it will take time, but I hope you find comfort and healing. x
Sending you such love Nagi. Losing a beloved pet is one of the hardest things ever. Dozer was so loved, you gave him the best life and he gave you himself <3
The measure of your pain is the exact measure of the love you both shared with each other. I hope there is some comfort in knowing that Dozer lived his life in exactly the place he was meant to be, loving the person he was meant to love, and living the life he was intended to live. In loving him so well and so long, you helped him to fulfill his purpose in this world. Judging from the peace and serenity his last photos evoke, and with your faithful presence by his side until the very end, I truly believe that he knew that. Dogs know.
Even I’m crying here! I lost my dog at the end of November. It’s the hardest thing ever. Love to you. It will take some time. I still struggle to look at pics of my girl.
Dear Nagi,
I was so deeply saddened to learn of Dozer’s passing and genuinely understand the depth of your loss. We too have a Goldie, her name is Lass. Beloved pets leave paw prints on our hearts forever. I’d like to say it gets easier, and in time it will, but for now your heart is broken – be kind to yourself and allow the healing to take as long as takes.
Thinking of you,
Joanne
I so know what you went through and send love and hugs, even though he is not here he will always be with you,
My most sincere sympathys to you for your loss Nagi. Dozer was an awesome doggo. I know what losing your dogs like. If I could help you I would. Take all the time you need to heal somewhat, look after yourself.
Now worsd will make it better, but I truly believe dogs are here to make us better people. He was a good boy, as is my Molson who is a 12 y/o shepherd and is also nearing the end of the circle of life. He has made me better and I will love him for ever. I am so happy you got to spend so much time with Dozer. He was lucky to have you and you were lucky to have him. RIP big guy!
I am so terribly sorry for your loss. My black lab, my “firstborn”, passed away suddenly last month at 14. She was 7 weeks old when I got her as a college senior and like you and Dozer, had been with me through every season of my life. No amount of time is ever enough with them.
Be kind to yourself. Give yourself grace. Let the to-do list of regular life pile that isn’t absolutely critical pile up until you’re ready. It’ll still be there once you’re in the headspace for it, it doesn’t matter how long it needs to wait. Try to get some air each day, even if it’s just a few minutes. And most of all know that you could never have given him a better life and more love than you did— and I know that as a stranger from afar, who has only known your relationship from photos and posts. It’s that apparent.
He was a wonderful boy. Thank you for sharing him with us all.
Lost our golden boy Kaiser 10 years ago. Wept for hours and hours. His gentle heart will always be with me as Dozers will be with you forever.
Blessings + Love ❤️
my heart is breaking. it’s breaking for me. thank yo for sharing him with me
😭🐕💔
I’m crying as I read this. I return to you site often and I was just looking for one of you recipes when I saw this. I’m so sorry for your loss. Animals are amazing. Hoping you are finding peace and some joy in your memories of having given Dozer the best life ever..
Thank you for everything Dozer and Nagi. Much love, Lil xx
I”m so, so sorry – and grateful, too, that you shared this amazing creature with us, if only online.
I never skip the Dozer section of your wonderful recipes. His photos always bought a smile to my face. I cannot even begin to imagine how much you miss him. Please accept my condolences.
With love from South Africa
I’ve only just seen the news about Dozer. I’m so sorry! We love them so much and it hurts like hell when they have to go. The pain will go but he’ll never leave your heart 💔
I am so sorry for your loss Nagi we have known it was always Nagi and Dozer. I am really sorry to hear that Dozer passed so sad. Dozer rest in peace.
The ache in your heart and the lonlyness never leaves. The memory of the good times stays and makes the loss more difficult….but, that only means that having that special pet was so very good. We go thru it and never forget and will always feel a sadness with recalled memories. Wishing you the best. stu Borken
Dear Nagi, our animals show us the better side of everything ❤️ They love us unconditionally and when we have to say goodbye a little piece of our heart goes with them, they are often far better than humans. So often people do not realise how important and special our animals are, they are our family and they are loved beyond measure. Shedding so many tears reading your beautiful goodbye to dozer xxx
Tears and love from Texas. I