I held his paw and slept by his side for 14 days in hospital. But it turned out, all the love in the world wasn’t enough to save him. Thus begins the final post on Life of Dozer.
My dearest Dozer,
You came into my life in my arms, holding you protectively. And after almost 14 years together, I held you in my arms protectively again as I said goodbye.
I was sobbing so hard, I forgot everything I wanted to say to you in our final moments together.
So I started writing this letter to you, to say all those things.
I wanted to reminisce about our wonderful times – the thousands of visits to the dog beach, all the wonderful food we sampled together, the cuddles, the neck-scratching-sessions, our road trips.
I wanted to thank you for spreading the joy that is you with readers all around the world, for happily coming along with me to meet readers at events, book signings, fund raisers, lunches, dinners, not to mention TV shows, photo shoots, and my gosh, we can’t forget our stint on Play School!
But as I sit here, typing away with tears streaming down my face, I realise that’s not what I want to say to you.
What I want to say is thank you.
Thank you for giving me your whole heart.
Thank you for giving me your unconditional loyalty.
Thank you for loving me just as I am, for all my flaws, for never caring what I weigh, what I wear, what I look like.
Thank you for always being there, my one constant through the good and bad times.
Thank you for making me smile, even on the hardest of days.
And thank you for trying so hard to stay with me as long as you could, fighting to heal until your very last day. I will never forget how deep you had to dig to find the strength for your rehab walk on our final morning together.
I know that one day, I will be able to look at photos of you again without sobbing. And I know all this pain I am feeling is because I loved you so fiercely and completely, and I wouldn’t trade it for a second I got to spend with you.
But right now, four days after saying goodbye, it feels like the heartbreak will never heal, like I will never smile again.
Rest in peace, my darling Dozer. I will never forget you, and I will never stop loving you.
Love,
Your mum xoxo
Thank you SASH
To the vets and nurses at the Small Animal Specialist Hospital (SASH),
Thank you for the extraordinary care, skill, and kindness you showed Dozer. Every moment, from the medical expertise to the gentle reassurance and cheering him on, meant more to me than I can say. Knowing he was in such capable, compassionate hands gave me comfort during the hardest days. I will always be deeply grateful for everything you did for my beautiful boy. – Nagi x
Beautiful Dozer, my tears fall.
Thankyou for the wonderful years of love and devotion that existed between you and Nagi.
Love and hugs xxoo
Deeply sad for your broken heart Nagi. Your precious soulmate at peace now, certainly knowing how much you loved him xo
I’m so sorry, Nagi. He was indeed very special boy.
There are holes in my heart for each pet I loved and lost. Nothing makes the pain hurt less than time. I know how you feel and I feel it.
Love
One of yours and Dozier’s fans
My heart breaks for you. There is only One who can truly bring the deep comfort and peace you need, and that is Jesus. I love your cooking and writing. Like your life, you feel deeply and live from your heart. Very few out there understand what that means. I will pray for God to comfort you and continue to use your grief and pain to comfort many others who are in such great need. Dozer was one of a kind, but he had a one of a kind friend in you. Cherish the wonderful memories and know you gave him the very best of your heart, as he did to you.
That was the most amazing email – it has relayed emotion, love and heartache in the most honest and descriptive way! I am sitting here with tears running down my face.
Sending you lots of love and strength!
Through tears streaming down my face.. I send you love.💓
Nagi, You mourn fiercely because you loved fiercely. We all will miss Dozer, he made us smile. He made me smile.
Beautifully said. Reading your words made me think of my boy, eight years on and I still miss him, but now we can laugh about his crazy antics. Wishing you love & kindness as you pass through your grief journey.
Dear Nagi. I’ve followed you and Dozer in Facebook for Many Many years. You are my very much preferred chef, and Dozer was such a wonderful plus in everything you gave us through the years. I sadly Know how you feel. Been there too many times over my life. But this I know: you didn’t need words between the two of you, and dead will not keep you apart. Someday we will be with
Them again. And if you pay attention, I’m sure you’ll realise he is right next to you.
Be patient and gentle with yourself know, nothing is more important right now that giving you the time to grief. We all love you, we all loved Dozer. may the love, eternal light and peace surround him, and give you the strength to slowly be able to start smiling again. He would want that for you!
I am so sorry! Lots of hugs and good thoughts! Dozer was loved around the world. He will be missed and never forgotten. Love!
Sending you prayers and comfort. Your fans cry with you.
It’s the days later when you realize you mate is not there at home. I’m Feeling this right now 8 days down the track. Still struggling with that.
Love my old girl . Ask for nothing, give so much joy. I feel your pain Naggi.
Im so very sorry for your loss. Dozer was such a sweet boy, the best, most adorable and lovable pet. He’s happy now, free from pain, old age and stress. One day the photos and memories will make you smile and fill you with warmth as you come to cherish them.
Im so sorry you lost your beautiful boy. He brought joy and smiles to so many people. Thank you for all the lovely moments you shared with us over the years.
I remember seeing you guys when he was no more than a pup I think at Dee Why beach, its been a minute…I hope the pain you feel now turns into giggles when you remember all the silly moments with that beautiful pup, and warm smiles when you remember the love he gave xo
Oh Nagi, I have big tears welling in my eyes, we also have a beautiful 12 and a half year old cocker spaniel, that we will soon have to make the decision,
I have loved reading of Dozer, and seeing all your wonderful photos of him and you beautiful smile of joy with him. Keep your memories close to you’re heart, he is now you’re angel on you’re shoulder. Sending hugs and love
Dearest Nagi,
I am so sorry for your loss. 14 years isn’t long enough with your boy. The sweet devotion and constant companionship is like nothing else in this life. What a hole to leave behind. I grieve with you, sharing your tears and your loss today. Love and empathy from Alberta Canada
Precious Dozer was loved by so many!
He’ll always be there for you Nagi – and for the rest of us to whose lives he brought happiness!
So so sorry. Such a beautiful boy – ❤️
Nagi so sad for your loss of dear Dozer, I’ve shed tears today reliving my doggie loss some years ago. I understand how you feel, it’s the worst most empty hollow feeling. Take lots of time to grieve and just be with your feelings.
Yes Dozer would want you to carry on but not till you feel your ready.
Sending hugs & love to you.